Monday, December 6, 2010
Monday, October 11, 2010
Most of you know that Monkey's dad left us when I was pregnant. Well I should clarify, we split up before I knew I was pregnant. I refused to get married just because I was pregnant so he ran off and married someone else. All while abandoning myself and our daughter. After she was born he told everyone she wasn't his and did nothing to support her. It wasn't until she was 5 months old when the courts proved she was indeed his and ordered support that he began contributing. Even then, thats the extent of it. Except for a handful of phone calls last year he has had no involvement with her.
Because of that I was forced to handle things on my own. I had to deal with every change, crisis, responsibility, major decisions, etc by myself. I had no family here that I could lean on, I only had myself. And I had to do it, I had no choice because I had to make sure my daughter was taken care of.
For 4 years it was just her and I and I learned very quickly how to manage. Was it hard? Heck ya it was. I had a few nights I cried. From frustration, anger, hurt, loneliness....the list goes on. I wondered if I had found out I was pregnant sooner would things have been different? Then I wondered why didn't I find out? Why did I have absolutely no idea? And trust me i didn't have a clue, it wasn't just denial there. Most of all I wondered why did things end up the way they did.
Now, years later, I look back and I think I know why. What I learned was that I could survive. I could be on my own and live to tell the story. What I know now is that all those years were preparation for whats to come. To show me that yes I'll be lonely and frustrated but it doesn't last forever, that "this too shall pass". Those years were to give me the tools I needed to survive as a Submariners wife. Mr. X told me once that a chief on his boat tried to warn him that very few wives could handle how much they are gone. His response to this chief was spoken in confidence that he knew I would be just fine and he believes it whole heartedly. The first time he left was a perfect example. I handled purchasing our current home, packed and moved everything, took care of 2 kiddo's, and worked a full time job. All while preggo with Baby Girl and a fractured tailbone. Yup, I can handle anything.
Anyone who thinks being the spouse of a service member is easy is sorely mistaken and add the fact that your other half is stuck on a sub somewhere under the water well...it stinks. You go days or weeks with out contact. Just living by the moto that no news is good news. The constant frustrations of not having real time contact. I can email my hubby tonight but it could be days before he gets it and the same in return. We can't email photos, there's no skype. And the amount of time they are gone?? Well I might as well be a single mom again.We recently got the schedule for our boat for next year and while I'm not allowed to go into specifics due to security reasons lets just say he will be gone way more than he'll be home. He'll miss every single holiday and birthday except one. Am I bummed about it? Completely. But since I did the single mom thing before I know that we can survive this.
We will be living just one day at a time and taking things as they come. The good with the bad and hoping that the days fly by in the mean time. Will it be easy? Some days will be easier than others and some will seem like we've hit rock bottom. We will take lots of photo's with the kids, do some traveling to visit family and friends, and make awesome care packages for Mr. X to enjoy where ever he ends up. We will make the most of every moment. And then when he comes home we will cry at the pier, hug like we never want to let go, kiss like it's our honeymoon...and then go home. Where we will have to adjust to living as a 2 parent family again and start the cycle all over.
Tuesday, September 28, 2010
One option was going to a private school. Very costly just paying for tuition, then you have uniforms and everything else. This honestly would be our last resort just because of finances and also transportation. Depending on the school we may have had to still provide transportation. There are a couple really good schools around here though so we couldn't rule it out entirely.
Another option was the magnet program but it's a lottery system so there is no gurantee of getting in. Monkey ended up getting wait listed at 2 of them and since getting in at that point depends on no shows and drop outs there is also no gurantee of getting in. Great program though and we wouldn't have to worry about transportation because the city buses the kids regardless of where they live.
And finally our last option was homeschooling. Everyone knows this is the route we ended up taking and not for a minute do I regret it because it showed me a few things which I'll explain in a minute. With homeschooling we had so much flexibility, I could work schooling around our schedules and vacations rather than the other way around. We could spend more time on things she needed help with and go right through the things she didn't.
Monkey did very well with the lessons and taking the time to learn things as I knew she would. Heck I even learned a few things along the way. What I didn't account for was how much she would miss actually going to school. Having been in public school for 3 years now she was very aware of what she was missing. Adding to that her walking with my assistant to put her daughter on the boss every day and well...I ended up with a crying 7yr old wanting to go back to school.
So last week I started making calls and went up to the school board to see what our options were. Our request to go back to her original school was denied because it is "full" so that was a no go. So we re-explored the magnet program. At one school she was still #33 on the list. At the other....they had a spot for her!
Well, they HAD a spot for her. Turns out the principle had tried to call us the week before school started to let us know the spot was open. Apparently though the old school never updated it with in the computer systems that our phone number had changed and the principle never actually saw our application for the program which had the new number on it. So obviously we never got the call. Thankfully though since it was right at the beginning of the year, they got busy with all those first few weeks of school stuff - etc, they never filled her spot with someone else. So the spot is still Monkey's. She gets to start next week.
When I told her that she was going to get to go back to regular school the child literally jumped up and down. Anyone ever seen a kid that excited to go back?? Of course I'm fully expecting it to wear off at least a bit after a couple weeks but we'll see. The program at the school she is going to focuses on international languages which Monkey has been trying to learn Spanish lately. Of course that is based on the various learnign toys we have that speak in English and Spanish so it's kinda interesting what she has learned.
So now at this point I get to officially say we are homeschool drop outs. But in a good way! This week I'll get to go school shopping with her to get what she needs. And since we started our schooling back in July she has already covered everything that they are doing up to now in class so she won't be behind. It's going to be wierd not having my oldest around during the day now but it will be ok knowing she is happy too.
Wednesday, August 11, 2010
Mr. X will point to Toots and say "Who are you?" which Toots replies "You!". Then Mr. X will point to himself and say "Who am I?" and Toots replies "Mine!".
I have been getting him to repeat the alphabet letters back to me while we are doing diaper changes and we never make it past "D caus eit goes like this. "Say A....A!!!, Say B....B!!!, Say C....C!, Say D....Daddy!!!!"
Tuesday, August 10, 2010
We went yesterday to our follow up appointment with the specialist since the CT scan was done a couple weeks ago. Originally the plan was they would view to see where it was at and decide if surgery should be done now or wait until a little later. Our appiontment yesterday didn't go like that at all.
The specialist said that most of the malformity is in her eyelid and appears to be slowly growing back into the eye area. It isn't something that would go away like a regular hemangioma would. This type would continue to grow as she grows and begin to damage other areas. At this time since she is still so small (12lbs at 4 months old) he is really wanting to avoid surgery for awhile. So instead he wants to try a minimum of 3 laser treatments followed by a second CT scan to see if the laser treatments appear to be working. If they are then we would continue with laser treatments until it is either gone or it appears to no longer be working, which at that point surgery would be the only option. The treatments would be done every 4 weeks with the first one starting sometime in the next couple weeks.
Sounds great right??? No surgery and a much less invasive option would be the ideal. However in our case because she is so young she doesn't understand that she has to lay completely still during the procedure. So to ensure that she doesn't move it would require her being put to sleep under general anesthesia every time.
Something in my mommy sense is making this plan of action not sit well with me. The idea of having to go through the ordeal of giving her an IV and putting her to sleep every month just doesn't seem right. I know how hard it was for them to put an IV in her last time. It took them 4 tries to get a successful one. I know how sick she got afterwards. We're not 100% sure if it was because of the anesthesia but it seems an odd coincidence that a perfectly healthy baby becomes horribly ill with in hours of having it done.
So now I don't know what to do. She has her 4 month well check on Monday and I plan to discuss everything with her pediatrician whom I love. I really want to know from her opinion the side affects and possible issues with having to do this so often. What other options there may be and so forth. Even Mr. X isn't thrilled with the idea of Baby Girl having to go through this and is wanting to go to a different specialist to get a 2nd opinion.
So for now this is where we stand.
Tuesday, August 3, 2010
In addition to the daycare my sewing has really taken off. I've got orders that require me to do some sewing every single night to keep up. Last night I spent like 5 hours behind my machine and was up until 2am. Not a good thing when the alarm goes off at 5:30am so that I can get ready for the first kids who are dropped off at 6:45am. I'm enjoying it though. The embroidery machine I got has really been a blessing. I've got so many ideas floating around in my head and there just is not enough time in the day for them all. Maybe one day though my sewing will be doing really well and I can just focus on that only. We'll see though. If any of you are interested though click HERE to go to the facebook fan page. You can also search at www.etsy.com for Daffe Designs to find my items.
Those 2 things alone keep me busy and then I still have to take care of the house, the kids, Monkey's homeschooling.....the list goes on and on. Maybe one day I'll get to take a "real" vacation.
Friday, July 30, 2010
He started it too. I would get cards through out the year, not just for the normal holidays. And he would leave them in various places too. On the kitchen counter, on the pillow for when I wake up. Then he got me started. Now I leave them for him too. It's starting to become a game almost. the most odd ball place to leave them. Once I knew he was going to be taking the car to do some errands so I snuck out and left it on the dash. He left one under a pillow on the couch where I normally sit. It's just our thing.